A New Kind of Grief and A New Kind of Growth
It’s been a long time since I wrote, and I’ve spent a great deal of the time trying over and over how to figure out what to write. There are a million thoughts and experiences, and I have attempted multiple times to just start up the blog entries again as though I hadn’t been silent [...]
Read MoreResolution #1-A: Acceptance
Alright, I’ve been working on the whole-assed life thing, and it turns out it can be really challenging. I think part of my distaste for resolutions is how they come in moments of inspiration and gusto, but they require incredible amounts of work long after the rush of the goose-bump minute of setting the goal [...]
Read MoreResolution #1: A Whole-Ass Life
We have spent seven days sick in our house. Seven live-long days! And still the raunch rages on for Mr. Mom. Nevertheless, it’s New Years Eve, and a few things are going down… First, my Colorado siblings and I will be gathering at my brother’s house in a little while. Graciously, he came and took [...]
Read MorePost-Holiday Blech
Forget a New Years celebration – it’s a full on PITY party up in here! That’s my funny way of prefacing a complaint. And, hopefully, a conviction to do better. The day after Christmas is difficult for me. In part, that makes good sense. I practically lived for Christmas-time all through my life. And even [...]
Read MoreThe Balance of Gratitude
In the story of our family, the Wednesday before Heather died was full and significant. It was a day where the height of reality violently buzzed through every cell in my body. I simply couldn’t decide if I knew she was dying or if I was just allowing doubt to fill my being – doubt [...]
Read MoreAgree To Disagree (or, really… not)
In case you didn’t know, an election happened this week. (Don’t abandon me – this is NOT an election post! ) Also, in case you weren’t aware, somehow that election resulted in classic old-time dirt-clods-being-thrown and tears-all-over-the-place warfare with a heavy showing by the “give peace a chance” and “can’t we all just get along” [...]
Read MoreBlogger Schmogger (a.k.a. Stunted Evolution)
OK, it’s time to talk truth. Some truth about blogging, and some truth about life. Deep breath, prep the typing fingers, and let’s do this… So when Heather died (three years ago this month – don’t think THAT isn’t hitting me in the face constantly right now), I took a couple months off from work, [...]
Read MoreThe Fall & the Pile
Oh it has been a rough couple of weeks. Mind you, there have been many highlights and wonderful things. There have been cupcakes, birthdays (good gravy there have been awesome birthdays), visits with friends, kind messages, thorough house cleanings, at least two days of completed laundry, and I could go on. Good things; bright things; [...]
Read MorePolitical Politics – What Everybody Wants To Read These Days
Presently, politics is all the thing, right? Facebook postings either reveal one’s leanings, or loudly abhor and denounce the pronunciation of political opinions. The presidential debate in my own Denver sparked multiple ongoing commentaries (both snarky and serious) lighting up my news feed. It’s being twitter tweeted, it’s in every ad on every medium, and [...]
Read MoreIt Really Is A Race For A Cure
Four years ago, just after Heather was diagnosed, I jumped on the bandwagon of Breast Cancer Awareness paraphernalia. It was October, after all, and it was available everywhere. I ordered a fair amount of pink bracelets, and set them out in candy bowls around the house to give away to visitors. And, of course, I [...]
Read MoreYou Matter Because You’re You
I think I have a vulnerability hangover. It has been really like splitting open my body and soul from top to toe, and laying open all there is to see over the last several weeks. I’ve been blessed with a project opportunity that is still in the launching and development phase, called HisXhers (read: his [...]
Read MoreDiffusing A Little Better
I got to thinking on Friday when I picked up my daughters from school. The pick-up zone and parking lot have always felt way too small, which is probably because they’re packed to the hilt every single day, and often I have to circle around and around before an open spot becomes available and I [...]
Read MoreGonna Be Okay
I want to talk about the gone-ness of Heather for a minute. You know… again. My friend Erin was over visiting today, and I felt really acknowledged as we talked about the relationship I had with my girl, Heather. I have a hard time, quite often, explaining why a future relationship of any kind seems [...]
Read MoreFor Each Other
I think backpacks on kids look kind of funny. Even when they’re supposedly proportioned for the less-than-adult-sized human being, it’s still a big hulking lump of a bunch of theoretically necessary stuff that often looks like it could take down my child if I just put one more little paper in! I promise I’m not [...]
Read MoreI Just Love You
It is clear, my friends, that life is hard. From stubbed toes, to highly legitimate reasons for an ugly cry, the day-to-day experience of the world can be (and often is) just brutal. I get that. I mean, boy do I get it! And no amount of sunshine can change the fact that shadows always [...]
Read MoreWhy Bother With the Coming Out?
There are questions about coming out as gay, and usually they are legitimate. It’s my experience that the intention or feeling behind the questions is what makes all the difference. Imagine the question as a clear glass, and the intent or purpose as the thing that fills it – that which defines the purpose of [...]
Read MoreKeep Changing Our View
Every gay person you know has their own ‘coming out’ story. Today, if we looked at the trajectory of these stories as a whole, hopefully, it would show less tragic resulting pain and hate towards the latter part of the tale. I mean, it does seem the world is becoming more educated and enlightened about [...]
Read MoreGrief Insights Pt. 2 – Sit With It, Hurt, & Know
Part 2 In considering the truths about loss that are permeating my self while populating my blog with the old CaringBridge journal entries, I was trying to stay in my moment and breathe – even though the moment felt sorrowful and difficult – and wanted to take note of one other thing that loss brings. [...]
Read MoreGrief Insights Pt. 1 – Regret Reminders
I just wanted to make a mention about grief. A few things tough about the truth of loss, I think. As I have prepared my website/blog, there has been a lot of rewarding and wonderful work that has gone into the process. Included in that, is the fact that I’ve tried to launch the blog [...]
Read MoreThe Winds of Change
Today brought with it one of those mornings where the smell of change is in the air. The season is turning to fall, and the feel of that is starting to seep into my bones. The morning is a little bit cooler, and Starbucks just brought back its Pumpkin Spice flavor, so I picked up [...]
Read MoreMake Serendipity – Control Less Stuff!
I went dancing the other night. Magic happened, really; the kind that somehow, I wish could happen for every person. It was the kind of serendipity that the sappy but still so sentimentally perfect movie Serendipity dares to explore; when the right something happens at just the right time to just the right person. Me [...]
Read MoreReligion and Me… For Now
So many things can happen all in close proximity to each other, and with the tendency I have towards wondering if things are supernatural, a group of occurrences can start to look like a “sign”. But that’s a bit of a tricky word, isn’t it – sign. Where is it from? Who is it from? [...]
Read MoreKids – To Church, Or Not To Church
A little fair warning… I actually wrote this entry a bit selfishly, in that I used words familiar in the Mormon vernacular (i.e. “ward”, which in common Christian sects would be equivalent to a congregation) because I was feeling my feelings while I wrote it and didn’t want to define it all out. I hope [...]
Read More